Chipwitch Today!

The Sun

The Sun is in Taurus

The Sun is at 13 Tau 18' 36", and is 150814060km away and receding.

The Moon

The Moon is in Pisces

The Moon is at 06 Pis 49' 57", and is 367453km away and approaching.

Moon Is In Pisces

Howdy there, space cowboys and cowgirls! Your friendly neighborhood astrologer here, ready to beam down some cosmic wisdom. So, strap in and secure your cargo because we're headed for the Pisces quadrant where our good buddy the Moon decided to park its celestial posterior. Now, the Moon is pretty much the 'Captain Tightpants' of our solar system, always waxing and waning, not able to make up its mind. And it's sitting at a cool 360,892.175135527 km away; give or take a few hundred kilometers. I checked my pocket abacus twice, so you know that number's more accurate than a laser-guided blaster. When the Moon is in Pisces, hold on to your space helmets because things are gonna get as woozy as a two-headed space goat on Neptune's finest. Pisces, as you may know, is a water sign, and when you mix moonbeams with water, you get... well, I'm still working on that equation, but it's sure to be something unexpected! You may find yourself feeling more sensitive than a naked mole rat in a sandstorm. Emotions could be flowing like Serenity when she's riding the solar winds. Just remember, it's okay to feel stuff. In the immortal words of Dr. Simon Tam, "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems." Not quite related, but it's always good to know. So, what's the advice? Well, try to ride these cosmic waves with grace. Keep your wits about you, just like our beloved mechanic, Kaylee, when faced with a busted compression coil. And remember - the 'verse might be a big, scary place, but you've got a crew who's got your back. Enjoy this lunar-Pisces rollercoaster, folks! Just remember to keep your arms and legs inside the spaceship at all times. Your friendly, nerdy astrologer signing off. Stay shiny!

Mercury

Mercury is in Aries

Mercury is prograde at 18 Ari 19' 41", moving at 0.58 degrees per day, and is 109022937km away and receding.

Mercury Is In Aries

Mercury in Aries: Cosmic Red Bull

Listen up, star gazers! Mercury, that swift-footed messenger of the gods, is doing its retrograde samba in Aries, the cosmic Rambo. Now, if you're thinking this means your Wi-Fi will start acting like a sulky teenager, or your GPS will guide you to the North Pole instead of Home Depot, take a deep breath. It's not that kind of retrograde. This is more like an intellectual Red Bull, so buckle up!

Aries waits for no one, not even for its morning coffee. So, when Mercury parks its celestial posterior in this sign, we're talking about a mental sprint, not a leisurely stroll through the park. You'll find your brain refusing to linger on last week's crossword puzzle and instead, charging ahead like a caffeinated racehorse. But be warned! This isn't the time for slow-mo replays, folks.

Got something to say? Well, with Mercury in Aries, you'll be serving unfiltered truth tea whether people ordered it or not! This transit is like cosmic courage juice, so expect to blurt out everything, from your love for 80s disco to your not-so-secret opinion about your neighbor's yard gnomes. But beware, my friends - this verbal diarrhea comes with a price. Remember, diplomacy is not an alien concept. Use it when needed!

But hey, it's not all challenging. Mercury in Aries is like a brainstorming session on steroids. You're likely to have more lightbulb moments than Thomas Edison. But here's the catch - these nuggets of wisdom are like shooting stars: Blink and you miss 'em! So grab them before they vanish into the ether of forgotten thoughts.

In a nutshell, Mercury in Aries is like a blend of Sherlock's brain, Speedy Gonzales' speed and a dash of Hulk's tact. Strap in, folks. It's going to be a wild ride!

Venus

Venus is in Taurus

Venus is prograde at 04 Tau 39' 42", moving at 1.23 degrees per day, and is 255076285km away and receding.

Venus Is In Taurus

Greetings, stardust siblings! Delenn, your quirky cosmic guide here, and I have some groovy news for you all - Venus has parked its celestial tush in Taurus, and boy, is it making us feel all warm and fuzzy inside! So, grab your favorite kaleidoscope and let's dive into the cosmic vibes of the next 24 hours before Venus moonwalks into Gemini. First off, did you know that Venus is currently a whopping 169,143,104.474665552 kilometers away from us? That's right, my fellow space cadets, love is coming to us from a galaxy far, far away! But don't fret, because this planetary love fest is all about getting down to earth and finding beauty in the simplest things. As Venus embraces Taurus's chill vibe, we're all feeling a bit like cosmic sloths, which is totally okay, dudes! It's time to slow down, sip on some kombucha, and focus on reconnecting with our loved ones. So, fire up the ol' Netflix, and get ready to binge-watch "Ancient Aliens" with your boo or bestie. In the realm of dating, Venus in Taurus is like a cosmic matchmaker encouraging us to appreciate the finer things in life, seek stability, and commit to something real. Say goodbye to those pesky commitment-phobes, and hello to a more grounded, down-to-earth love connection. *cue the dramatic romantic montage* But beware, my cosmic comrades, for Taurus's stubbornness can be a real party pooper when Venus is in town. It might be harder to compromise, and you could find yourself butting heads with your sweetheart like two bulls in a china shop. Remember to keep an open mind, and maybe invest in some groovy mood lighting to keep things calm. If you're single, Venus in Taurus might make you feel like you're wearing emotional armor thicker than a black hole. But fear not, for even the most stubborn of hearts can learn to bend and sway like a cosmic hula hoop. So, buckle up your asteroid belts and enjoy the ride as Venus in Taurus sprinkles some down-to-earth love magic into our lives before it zips off into the charming realm of Gemini. Peace, love, and cosmic vibes, my friends! Namaste!

Mars

Mars is in Aries

Mars is prograde at 02 Ari 00' 55", moving at 0.77 degrees per day, and is 294421388km away and approaching.

Jupiter

Jupiter is in Taurus

Jupiter is prograde at 24 Tau 39' 07", moving at 0.23 degrees per day, and is 897042907km away and receding.

Jupiter Is In Taurus

Hey there, cosmic wanderer! Let's chat about Jupiter in Taurus, shall we? Now, I know you're thinking "Jupiter in Taurus, that's only a mere 872208998.624596596km away!" and yes, you'd be right. Don't worry, though - it's not like we need to hop on the Millennium Falcon and jet off to check it out (though that would be a pretty nifty field trip). Ah, Jupiter, our big gassy friend of the cosmos, currently twirling around in a prograde motion (that's astro-nerd talk for moving in the same direction as the stars). It's literally bringing wisdom to the bull-headed Taurus. So, imagine, if you will, Yoda riding a bull. That’s the kind of energy we're dealing with here. Remember how Obi-Wan Kenobi said, "The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together." Well, replace "The Force" with "spirituality," and you'll get the gist of what Jupiter in Taurus is about. It's like having your own personal Jedi training, encouraging you to use your inner wisdom to tackle those long-standing dreams. You'll find yourself making to-do lists like you're planning the ultimate rebel attack and methodically conquering each task. Trust me, Luke Skywalker didn't blow up the Death Star overnight. Now, let's talk about Galactic Credits, or as you Earthlings call it, money. With Jupiter in Taurus, it's like having Lando Calrissian, the smoothest dude in the galaxy, guiding your financial decisions. You've got Jupiter's good luck and Taurus' knack for wealth accumulation working together like Han and Chewie in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. But beware, young Padawan! Taurus is a bit of a Jabba the Hutt when it comes to indulgence, and Jupiter can inflate that tendency like a puffer pig. Don't let your wants warp into needs faster than the Kessel Run. So strap in, grab your astrological blaster, and prepare for a cosmic adventure, because with Jupiter in Taurus, it's going to be like a hyperdrive journey through a galaxy of wisdom, patience, and prosperity. May the Force be with you!

Saturn

Saturn is in Pisces

Saturn is prograde at 16 Pis 49' 58", moving at 0.08 degrees per day, and is 1529261385km away and approaching.

Saturn Is In Pisces

Beam Me Up, Saturn!

Okay, folks, strap in and put your space helmets on, because Saturn is hovering in Pisces. It's like the universe's version of a grumpy grandpa visiting a psychedelic fish tank. It's not just about getting starry-eyed over the nebulae though, no, Saturn is doing some cosmic housekeeping at a whopping 1,576,278,394.181507826km away. And yes, you guessed right! The old fella's gone prograde on us. We’re talking full-on forward motion.

Now, when Saturn, our celestial taskmaster, meets Pisces, the dreamy, artsy guru of the zodiac, it's like Spock meeting a Vulcan mind-meld with Picasso. It’s time to take those daydreams of yours, you know the ones where you're writing a bestselling novel or running a successful business, and give them a Vulcan salute.

This cosmic combo is here to ensure that your dreams don't just end up as beautiful supernovae in the cosmos of your mind. They want you to get off your asteroid and make things happen. You might need to draft a business plan, draw up a budget, or beam yourself up to the bank for a loan.

Now, I won’t lie to you, Saturn in Pisces isn't always a leisurely cruise on the USS Enterprise. Saturn might be the unwelcome guest who questions your most cherished dreams, but remember, the Captain doesn’t shy away from a challenge. Instead of putting up shields and firing photon torpedoes, why not let Saturn in and listen to what it has to say? After all, this cosmic old-timer has seen more than a few star systems in its day.

With Saturn in Pisces, you might find yourself feeling like you've been beamed up to the sleepless realms of insomnia. Your usual 8-hour stasis chamber sleep might seem as elusive as a Romulan cloaking device. But fear not, my starfleet! This is the perfect time to cultivate some much-needed inner peace. Meditate, take a stroll through your local holodeck forest, or simply breathe like you’re on a vacation in the oxygen-rich atmosphere of an unexplored M-class planet.

Remember, this cosmic event is all about listening to the wisdom that the universe has to offer. So, put your tr

Uranus

Uranus is in Taurus

Uranus is prograde at 22 Tau 31' 03", moving at 0.06 degrees per day, and is 3079926019km away and receding.

Uranus Is In Taurus

Alrighty, folks! Strap in and hang on to your space helmets because the cosmic roller coaster is about to take off. Now, I know you're probably thinking, "What's this nerdy astrologer rambling about?" Well, let me tell you - Uranus is in Taurus, which is like blending a stubborn bull with a chaotic disco ball. Intriguing, isn't it? Now, let's start with the basics. Uranus is currently about 3054535215.476837635km away, doing its little prograde dance in the sky. That might sound far, but in the grand scheme of things, it's practically our cosmic neighbor. So, what does this mean for us? Brace yourself for some astronomical humor because it's going to be a "Uranus-shaking" experience! Taurus - they're the ones who love their comfort zone, aren't they? They'd rather binge-watch an entire series than risk missing an episode due to power failure. But here comes Uranus, the celestial equivalent of a power surge, ready to disrupt that marathon. The old ways of doing things are going out the window. It's time to adapt and evolve, my friends. It's like when they introduced the microwave - you might have been skeptical at first, but now you can't imagine life without it. But hold on to your telescopes, because it gets juicier. Taurus is all about the moolah. So, with Uranus entering the scene, we're looking at a complete makeover of our financial landscape. Imagine waking up one day and finding out that bitcoins are the new quarters. Banks may be reshaped, stock markets might jitterbug, and your piggy bank could become a thing of the past. On the personal front, Uranus in Taurus is like a cosmic Marie Kondo, urging us to declutter our financial and material lives. Debt, taxes, credit card interests - all these can feel like black holes sucking up your happiness particles. But now's the time to break free. It's like switching from a rickety old spaceship to a shiny new star cruiser. Resisting won't help because Uranus is here with its liberating energy, ready to beam us up to a life of greater stability. So, there you have it. We're in for a ride that's going to be more thrilling than the last season of Babylon 5. Get ready for some changes, because Uranus in Taurus is about to shake

Neptune

Neptune is in Pisces

Neptune is prograde at 28 Pis 59' 47", moving at 0.03 degrees per day, and is 4579709827km away and approaching.

Neptune Is In Pisces

Well, well, well, if it isn't Neptune, that big blue ball of mystery, making a grand entrance into Pisces. Now, if you're picturing a huge planet swimming around in a celestial fish tank, you wouldn't be entirely wrong, metaphorically speaking. Most importantly, for those who are not space geeks like yours truly, this means we are entering a time of deep spiritual and emotional introspection. Time to turn on your inner emo-goth playlist, friends. The fusion of Pisces' penchant for feelings and Neptune’s passion for unity is like a cosmic spotlight cutting through a foggy night. It's as if the universe is suddenly saying, "Hey, look at all these pesky differences between us. They're about as important as a single speck of dust on a supernova. So, let's just get along, yeah?" This cosmic alignment is like a celestial group therapy session, encouraging us to think about what we can bring to the table for our collective progress. And no, your famous guacamole recipe doesn't count. We're talking bigger picture here. What are your unique gifts, ideas, and dreams? It's time to unleash them and explore your emotional intelligence. Now, I'm not saying you should start a cult or anything, but this would be an excellent time to delve deeper into spiritual paths that resonate with you. Perhaps you could create a sacred space at home, something more than just your cherished spot on the couch. Fiddle around with some incense, light a few candles, whip out those old yoga mats. Neptune in Pisces is an open invitation to connect with what feels most sacred and share these experiences with the world. So, put on your best hippie attire, embrace your inner nerd, and remember: the universe has got your back. Or more accurately, it's got your entire existence. But hey, who's counting kilometers?

Pluto

Pluto is in Aquarius

Pluto is retrograde at 02 Aqu 06' 14", moving backwards at 0 degrees per day, and is 5205463167km away and approaching.

Pluto Is In Aquarius

Pluto In Aquarius: The Ultimate Cosmic Face-Off

Picture this: Pluto, the wee 'planet' (we're still salty about that downgrade, aren't we?) with a heart-shaped surface feature, is hanging out in Aquarius, the sign of the water-bearer. Now, before you start picturing Pluto getting a nice splash from Aquarius' jug, remember, Aquarius is an air sign. So, no, Pluto is not getting a much-needed bath.

Pluto, the celestial equivalent of that one intense friend who always insists on deep, existential conversations at 2 AM, is all about transformation. And not just the "Oh, I think I'll cut bangs" kind, but the "I'm going to reevaluate my entire life, quit my job, and move to a Tibetan monastery" kind. Pluto doesn't do things by halves, folks.

Meanwhile, Aquarius is the sign of progress, innovation, and the odd science experiment gone wrong (or right, depending on your perspective). When these two get together, it's like a sci-fi movie plot: expect the unexpected, and then multiply it by ten.

We're talking radical shifts in science, technology, and even space travel. Who knows, maybe teleportation will finally be a thing during this transit? A girl can dream! But it's not just about cool gadgets and warp speed; it's also about humanity. This transit could see us becoming more compassionate, more empathetic, and more inclined to work together for the betterment of all.

On a personal level, Pluto in Aquarius is the cosmic kick in the pants we need to change how we view ourselves and our place in the world. Instead of being self-focused, it's time to think about what's best for all. Basically, it's about becoming more like Mr. Spock and less like Sheldon Cooper.

So, are you ready for this cosmic shake-up? Because like it or not, Pluto in Aquarius is here, and it's about to make things a whole lot more interesting!

Venus

Venus Square Pluto

Strong desires and passions sometimes go along with this aspect. There may be the desire to completely change the partner or to completely transform any current relationship. Jealousy, possessiveness, and the desire to have control over others makes today's influence very difficult. You can't change someone else and you can't run their life, so stop trying or else the resentment they feel toward you will have destructive consequences. Make up your mind not to manipulate people.In an attempt to control the outcome of a love relationship, or the loved one’s feelings, you can turn to manipulative games. Even if you do “succeed” at it, there is never a feeling that you’ve won someone over for who you are, and this feeds a vicious cycle that you should try to avoid getting yourself into. Your feelings are intense, and even extreme, when it comes to love. You might attract intense relationships that have love-hate themes as a result. You are passionate when you love, definitely, but also passionate when you hate. You easily put pressure on your partner, as you expect much loyalty and honesty in your intimate relationships. Be careful not to let your relationships get to a point where your partner is superfluous and you are working through your own inner demons through him or her. Certainly, you will learn much about yourself through your relationships, and you may not always like what you see. You will meet yourself (the “darker” side or inner demons) through your relationships, and it will be critical that you recognize it as your own “material” and not project it onto your partner. Letting go of a relationship can be hard for you to do, especially if Venus is in a fixed sign (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, or Aquarius).Alternate interpretations:You are capable of being a great manipulator and are often caught up trying to make things appear a certain way. You are the one who suffers from this tendency the most. You tend to get tied down to a pattern of endless repetition in relationships. You have difficulty in letting go even when a situation is painful. You are always dealing with people as symbols of others who are not even present. Love and power become confused with one another. You have a deeply lodged need to establish your sense of self worth. Once this is secure you can overcome your fear of being dissolved in a relationship built on equality and will start having more normal interactions. You need to be less concerned with how you appear to others and more concerned with how you are. — Interpretation sample from the Indra (In-Depth Profile) report.#Your sexual intensity can lead you into all the wrong kinds of relationships. With a bit of judgment however, that very intensity can set you and your partner on the path of creative expression, and can stimulate bursts of spiritual consciousness. Allow time in between to integrate your experiences. Interpretation sample from the Your Spiritual Path report.~You are more aware of love’s burdens than its bliss. You do want a permanent, growing love relationship, but you seem to attract the type of people who aren’t willing to give as much as you need. With time you will learn the positive meanings of love, which will be all the more precious to you because you already know the pains. One of the things you may become more aware of as you experience love is that your relationships reflect your own inner turmoil; as soon as you start respecting yourself as you are now, you will find that you attract a giving, loving person more easily. Marriage could occur out of a strong need for financial and emotional security. Some of your love affairs could be secret ones, possibly with married persons. An intense love affair for which you are forced to give your all could bring about a transformation. — Interpretation sample from the Heaven Knows What report.Some Famous People with the Venus in Hard Aspect to Pluto: Squares – Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Justin Timberlake, Shirley Temple Black, Britney Spears, Ryan O’Neal, Steve McQueen, Goldie Hawn, Bruce Lee. Oppositions – Ivana Trump, Beau Bridges, Celine Dion, Al Capone, Bridget Fonda, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Julian Lennon, H. G. Wells.

Mars

Mars Conjunct Neptune

Do you feel a little spacey today? Is your imagination running away with you? Great! Take that energy and direct it into something constructive like writing or creative visualization. Let your imagination take you into new areas of thought and possibilities. Put energy into making your dreams a reality. Don't waste time fantasizing, make something happen. Finish that art project, complete the painting you've been meaning to finish, read that metaphysical book you've been wanting to start/finish. Watch for someone playing on your sympathies. Do not be taken in by every sob story you hear today. Get the facts. Help someone less fortunate if you are able. Visit a sick friend and cheer them up.Your approach to the world is unusual, indirect, and even roundabout with Mars in conjunction to Neptune. You have an easy, likeable charm, and this can be your downfall if you’re not careful! In youth, you might find that you attach yourself to the image that others have created for you–the good guy, the easygoing person, the nice guy. As you go along, you might discover that it’s easy to get out of sticky situations with this image in place, and you might resort to lies and tricks in order to come out looking good and “smelling like roses”. Another problem is that lies or tall tales are easy for you–your imagination is tremendous, your fantasy life is rich, and you somehow are likeable enough to get away with deceit. The challenge in your life should be to either live up to the image of the good guy, or to break free from it in small ways in order to avoid getting caught up in a web of deception.You tend to act impulsively and yet you don’t always take complete responsibility for your actions! It is difficult for you to plan ahead, and therefore your judgment is sometimes cloudy. This leaves much in your life to chance, or fate, and makes it difficult for you to have total control over your life. Learn to look very carefully before you leap and to examine every situation from a realistic point of view.Because you have a magnetic personality, others are drawn to you and seek the pleasure of your company. Your active imagination is fascinating and inspiring to others. In love relationships you may suffer repeated disappointments until you learn to see your partner more realistically. You tend to look at loved ones through rose-colored glasses, seeing only the parts of their personality that you want to see. This may seem quite pleasant at the time, but it also sets you up for future disappointment when your loved one cannot live up to your idealistic expectations.Even if you are astute about most people and situations, when you are personally involved it can be hard to see clearly. By all means, be sure to deal with others honestly and to demand that they do so in return. Be cautious in choosing whom you will confide in and be sure to keep your friends’ confidences to yourself as well. It is advised with this aspect that you deal with drugs (prescription and otherwise) with great caution. Take good care of your health; you are more prone to infection than others, and practicing safe sex will be especially important for you. You are more a lover than a fighter, you have rich fantasies, and you are a most sensitive and imaginative lover. Your ‘ideal partner makes you feel completely special, and doesn’t bring past lovers into conversations in your bed. — Interpretation from our LoveStyles Report.Some Famous People with Mars conjunct Neptune: William Blake (Mars conjunct Neptune in Leo), Napoleon Bonaparte (in Virgo), Sylvia Browne (in Virgo), Carol Burnett (in Virgo), Albert Camus (in Cancer), Bill Clinton (in Libra), Morgan Fairchild (in Libra), Peter Gabriel (in Libra), John Gray (in Libra), Robert Guillaume (in Virgo), Quincy Jones (in Virgo), Evel Knievel (in Virgo), Michael Landon (in Virgo), Janet Leigh (in Leo), Vivian Leigh (in Cancer), John Lennon (Mars in early Libra conjunct Neptune in late Virgo), John Malkovich (in Libra), Howie Mandel (in Scorpio), Jayne Mansfield (in Virgo), Charles Manson (in Virgo), Yoko Ono (in Virgo), Carl Sagan (in Virgo), Erik Satie (in Aries), Cybill Shepherd (in Libra), Mark Spitz (in Libra), Richard Strauss (in Aries).

Mars

Mars Sextile Pluto

Now is the time to take charge, make plans and regenerate yourself. Your force of will is strong now and you can do whatever you set your mind on. You can effectively lead your group in accomplishing the group's goals. You can show the way without having to get your way. Hard work is rewarded.You are committed, determined, and passionate. For you, it’s all or nothing, and you are baffled by, and possibly impatient with, others who do things only halfway or half-heartedly. You are usually quite decisive, and often unwavering once committed. You are certainly a passionate person and you possess a fascinating and commanding aura. You are generally confident about your own talents. You employ strategy when you are going after something, and you are very talented at this, saving time and energy. While you are perfectly capable of outwitting others as a natural psychologist, whether you take advantage of this skill or not depends much on the rest of your natal chart.You’re naturally very resourceful and usually quite persistent when pursuing a goal. You are a wonderful person to be around when there’s a crisis. Very little fazes you, and you’re especially effective when circumstances call for a leader.The trine aspect is the more dynamic of the two harmonious aspects. Those with the sextile can call upon these traits when needed, and those with the trine between the Mars and Pluto have incorporated the traits of the aspect into their personalities, expressing them naturally and consistently.Alternate, short interpretations: Mars sextile Pluto or Mars trine Pluto: *You dream up creative solutions to problems and take an imaginative, unusual approach to getting a job done. When difficulties arise you prefer to avoid conflict and confrontation in favor of more peaceful or subtle methods of resolving problems. Working to help others or for a cause that transcends your own narrow, personal interests is satisfying for you. You have an artistic flair and appreciate the colorful, unique, or strange.#You are capable of applying tremendous effort to anything you attempt. The spiritual lesson is to learn moderation. Moderation often means acting like one of the pack instead of always being the leader.Some Famous People with Mars in Harmonious Aspect to Pluto: Sextiles – Billy Idol Trines – Steve Jobs, Iggy Pop, Kurt Russell, Charles Prince of Wales, Jackie Chan.

Jupiter

Jupiter Conjunct Uranus

You have an increased tolerance for all points of view and different ways of life. Your intuition is stimulated to grow at this time. You may experience prophetic dreams. Sudden good financial fortune may come your way. Your life may change and expand in some way, perhaps through foreign travel or metaphysical pursuits. There is a desire to befriend humanity and to make new friends.