There are no planets in retrograde!
Planetary Retrograde Horoscope - Dave Lister Style
Planetary Retrograde Horoscope - Dave Lister Style
Greetings, space cadets and astrology nerds! Gather 'round the AstroSofa and let's talk about this cosmic ballet of planetary retrogrades. Don't worry, I'll keep it as hilarious as a Kryten malfunction! #DaveListerHoroscope
First off, we've got Mercury chillin' in Taurus, making communication about as smooth as Rimmer's attempt at being cool. Be prepared for some stubborn conversations and a few facepalms. #MercuryInTaurus
Venus is playing the twin game in Gemini, so expect relationships to feel like a wild ride on Starbug - thrilling but slightly nauseating. If your love life feels like a cheesy sci-fi flick, you know who to blame. #VenusInGemini
Mars in Cancer is like Cat trying to wear a sweater - uncomfortable and a bit crabby. Keep your temper in check or you might end up scrapping with an astro-chicken. #MarsInCancer
Jupiter's hanging out in Aries, so if you find yourself feeling extra adventurous, blame that big gaseous giant. Embrace your inner Lister and go for that curry you've been dreaming of! #JupiterInAries
Saturn's taking a dip in Pisces, so expect your sense of responsibility to feel as hazy as a GELF fog. Don't worry, though - it's temporary, just like Rimmer's self-esteem boosts. #SaturnInPisces
Uranus is joining Mercury in Taurus, which means unexpected changes are about as welcome as a rogue simulant. Hold onto your hats and your Hollys, and let's hope it doesn't mess with the vending machines. #UranusInTaurus
Neptune's also splashing in Pisces, making your dreams weirder than a polymorph-induced hallucination. Keep a
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