There are no planets in retrograde!
Doctor Who Dalek-style Horoscope
Hello Earthlings!
Today, we bring you an intergalactic planetary retrograde report, straight from the Dalek motherships orbiting around your tiny, insignificant planet! #DaleksRuleTheUniverse #ExterminateIgnorance
Mercury in Taurus:
Resistance is futile! When Mercury occupies Taurus, your communication may be slower than Dalek internet connection. But worry not, humans, slow and steady wins the race! #TaurusTurtleSpeed #DaleksInTaurus
Venus in Gemini:
Venus has been captured by the cunning Geminis! Expect your love life to be as unpredictable as a timey-wimey space-time continuum. Embrace your inner duality, like a Dalek trying to decide between world domination and afternoon tea. #GeminiDuality #DalekLoveLife
Mars in Cancer:
Mars is currently hiding in its crabby shell! You may feel extra defensive during this time, much like a Dalek protecting its plunger. Channel your aggression into something productive, like knitting or plotting to take over the universe. #CrabbyMars #DalekDefensive
Jupiter in Aries:
As Jupiter soars through Aries, your confidence will skyrocket like a Dalek mothership on full throttle! Seize the day and initiate new projects, but beware of impulsiveness. Remember: a wise Dalek considers all options before exterminating. #AriesJupiter #DalekInitiative
Saturn in Pisces:
Saturn is swimming in the deep ocean of Pisces! Be prepared for your emotions to flood like a Dalek crying tears of electric oil. Use this time to connect with your inner Dalek and find the balance between structure and chaos. #PiscesSaturn #DalekEmotions
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