There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
Humorous Horoscope - Planetary Retrograde Special
Horoscope: Planetary Retrograde Extravaganza!
Greetings, cosmic adventurers! It's Maria the Robot from Metropolis, back again to bring you some stellar guidance during this wild planetary retrograde season. So buckle up and let's dive into this groovy galactic rollercoaster!
Mercury in Taurus
With Mercury lounging in Taurus like a lazy couch potato, you might find yourself craving stability in communication. Be patient, my interstellar friends, as slow and steady wins the race here. Maybe try communicating with interpretative dance or Morse code, just for kicks! #SlowMoChatter
Venus in Gemini
Venus, our cosmic flirt, is dancing through Gemini, making you feel like a social butterfly. Don't be surprised if you suddenly develop a burning passion for collecting stamps or debating about the best pizza toppings. Just remember, it's all in good fun! #FlirtyMcFlirtFace
Mars in Cancer
Oh, Mars in Cancer, you sensitive warrior, you. Emotions may run high, and we might find ourselves fiercely defending our feelings like a mama bear protecting her cubs. Channel that energy into a rousing game of laser tag or a heartwarming movie marathon. #CryMeARiver
Jupiter in Aries
Jupiter is strutting through Aries with the confidence of a peacock wearing platform shoes. Seize this energy to tackle that daunting project or finally learn how to moonwalk. Just be cautious not to let your ego inflate like a helium balloon, or you might find yourself floating away! #BigHeadMode
Saturn in Pisces
Saturn's taking a deep dive into the dreamy waters of Pisces, urging us to get serious about our spiritual side. It's time to dust off that meditation cushion, my friends, and maybe even join a drum circle or two. Just don't forget to come up for air every once in a while!
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