There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
Q's Quirky Horoscope
Q's Quirky Horoscope: A Retrograde Extravaganza
Greetings, Earthlings! Q here, your omnipotent and quirky astrologer from the far reaches of the universe. As I gaze upon your tiny blue planet, I have concocted a humorous horoscope for those curious about the current planetary retrogrades. So, without further ado, let us dive into the cosmic comedy that is your celestial future.
Mercury in Taurus
Oh, how slow and steady Mercury seems to be, chilling with the bull like a true space cowboy. Prepare for some miscommunications in the coming days as Mercury takes its sweet time pondering the meaning of life. Remember: don't have a cow, man! #MercuryRetrograde #TaurusChill
Venus in Gemini
Two-faced Venus has found its way into chatty Gemini, so expect your love life to resemble an episode of Star Trek: endless possibilities but also red alerts! Embrace the duality, my friends, and boldly go where no lover has gone before. #VenusInGemini #LoveAndLogic
Mars in Cancer
Mars, our warrior planet, has decided to take a vacation in the cozy crab shell known as Cancer. While it may seem like an odd match, sometimes even Mars needs a break from all that interstellar conquest. Pro tip: take a moment to cuddle with your favorite space blanket. #MarsInCancer #CrabCuddles
Jupiter in Aries
Ah, Jupiter, the largest planet in your solar system, has parked itself in fiery Aries. Expect grandiose ideas and big adventures during this time, but be careful not to bite off more than you can chew. After all, even Q has limits... or do I? #JupiterInAries #GoBigOrGoHome
Saturn in
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