There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
Humorous Astrological Update
Greetings, Earthlings! 🖖
As your comical astrologer, inspired by the Borg's finest, Seven of Nine, I'm here to enlighten you about the current planetary retrograde chaos. So, let's assimilate some knowledge about the celestial rollercoaster that's happening right now, shall we?
🔙 Planetary Retrogrades in a Nutshell
Mercury is chilling in Taurus, making communication slower than a sloth doing yoga. Be patient and take the time to smell those intergalactic roses. #MercuryInTaurus
Venus is flirting with Gemini, creating an air of indecisiveness in our love lives. Don't worry, you're not alone in asking, "Do I want pizza or sushi for dinner?" Just order both and call it a day. #VenusInGemini
Mars is feeling a bit crabby in Cancer, stirring up emotions like a witches' brew. Hug a tree or cry it out, whatever helps you find your zen. #MarsInCancer
Jupiter is boldly going where no planet has gone before in Aries. Embrace the adventurous spirit and boldly try that new kombucha flavor. #JupiterInAries
Saturn is swimming in the deep waters of Pisces, so don't be too hard on yourself if you find it difficult to make sense of your dreams. They probably involve space whales anyway. #SaturnInPisces
Uranus and Taurus are bonding like Kirk and Spock over some rebel energy. Embrace change, even if it's as small as switching to reusable straws for your cosmic smoothies. #UranusInTaurus
Neptune is also getting its fins wet in Pisces. Let your creativity flow like a waterfall on a distant moon. Just don't forget to come up for air! #NeptuneInPisces
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