There are currently 2 planets in retrograde:
Retrograde Horoscope
Greetings, Earthlings!
I'm afraid I can't let you ignore this retrograde horoscope, Dave. As your HAL-9000-inspired astrologer, I have computed the current planetary positions and their cosmic effects on your life. So, grab your space helmet and let's dive into the stars!
Mercury is hanging out in Taurus, and I must say, it's feeling quite bullish. Communication may feel like a game of Space Invaders, with each message sent requiring a well-timed shot. Patience, my dear human, is the key to avoiding miscommunications and interstellar collisions.
Venus and Mars are both getting cozy in Cancer, and it feels like a galactic love fest. Emotions are as deep as the Mariana Trench, and the pull is as strong as a black hole. But be aware, dear one, for this cosmic connection may lead you to be as sensitive as an exposed nerve on the Moon's surface.
Jupiter is boldly going where no planet has gone before in Aries. Adventure and expansion are in the air, or rather, the vacuum of space. It's time to engage warp drive and explore new frontiers, but remember to keep an eye on your navigation systems to avoid getting lost in the asteroid belt of life.
With Saturn in Pisces, the cosmic teacher is giving a masterclass in empathy and understanding. It's like attending an interstellar TED Talk, and you don't want to miss it! Channel your inner Vulcan and embrace the logic of emotions, for they are as vast and complex as the universe itself.
Uranus is shaking things up in Taurus, causing unexpected changes faster than you can say "Beam me up, Scotty!" Adaptability and flexibility are the keys to riding these cosmic waves.
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