There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
Funny Horoscope
Planetary Retrograde Horoscope
Greetings, fellow space nerds and astrology enthusiasts! Do you feel like the universe is playing a game of musical chairs with your emotions? Well, strap in and grab your favorite crystals, because we're diving into this week's out-of-this-world planetary retrograde party!
First up, Mercury is chillin' in Taurus, turning your thoughts into a slow-motion nature documentary. Communication might be sluggish, but hey, at least you'll have time to contemplate every word you say. Or, you know, just binge-watch Stargate Atlantis. No judgment here. #SlowAndSteady
Next, Venus and Mars are having a cozy little rendezvous in Cancer. Expect a double dose of intense emotional energy, making you simultaneously want to hug and punch the nearest person. So yeah, try not to freak out when someone eats the last slice of pizza, okay? #EmotionalRollercoaster
Moving on, Jupiter's hanging out in Taurus, amplifying your love of all things comfy and materialistic. Time to break out those fuzzy slippers and buy that giant bean bag chair you've been eyeing. Just don't go overboard, or you'll end up like an episode of Hoarders. #TreatYourselfResponsibly
Meanwhile, Saturn is in Pisces, which means your dreams might look like a Dali painting on acid. Embrace the weirdness and let it inspire you! But maybe don't mention it to your coworkers; they already think you're strange enough. #SurrealDreams
Uranus is also vibing with Taurus, shaking up your life like a snow globe. Expect the unexpected and roll with it, dude. After all, isn't variety the spice of life? Or was it paprika
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