There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
Hilarious Horoscope
Planetary Retrograde: A Roy Batty-Inspired Horoscope
Welcome, my fellow space cadets, to your horoscope inspired by the one and only Roy Batty from Blade Runner. Hold on to your telescopes and let's dive right into this cosmic comedy!
Mercury in Taurus
Like a bull in a china shop, Mercury is thrashing about in Taurus. Expect plenty of stubbornness as communication takes a backseat. #BullheadedMessenger
Venus in Cancer
Venus is nesting in Cancer, making love seem as comforting as your grandma's homemade cookies. Prepare for some serious cuddle time, folks! #CrabbyLove
Mars in Leo
With Mars in Leo, it's time to embrace your inner drama queen and strut your stuff on the cosmic stage. Remember: there are no small parts, only small actors. #FierceMars
Jupiter in Taurus
As Jupiter joins Mercury in Taurus, expect an expansive waistline and a deep appreciation for the finer things in life. It's like the universe is giving you a high-five for indulging in that extra slice of pizza. #JupiterIndulgence
Saturn in Pisces
With Saturn swimming through the dreamy waters of Pisces, you may find yourself with a sudden urge to write emo poetry and ponder the meaning of life. So deep, man. #EmoSaturn
Uranus in Taurus
Uranus is hanging out with its pals Mercury and Jupiter in Taurus, making it a party of cosmic proportions! Just watch out for unexpected surprises (read: chaos) as Uranus shakes things up. #TaurusPartyCrasher
Neptune in Pisces
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