There are no planets in retrograde!
Your Spacey Horoscope!
What's up, stargazers? Time to get our astro-nerd on!
Mercury is in Aries, which means communication might feel like you're trying to explain quantum physics to a goldfish. I mean, Aries is as subtle as a supernova in the quiet hours of the night! So, keep your wits about you, and remember - speaking Klingon is NOT going to help matters. #MercuryInAries #TalkNerdyToMe
Venus is hanging out in Pisces, making love feel as elusive as Schroedinger's cat. Is it there? Is it not? Who knows! Your love life may seem as confusing as an unsolved Rubik's cube. But hey, at least it's colorful! #VenusInPisces #LoveIsQuantumPhysics
Mars in Aquarius? Expect your passions to be as unconventional as a three-legged Martian. You might find yourself suddenly interested in the mating habits of intergalactic alien species or the possibility of black holes being cosmic vacuum cleaners. Embrace the weirdness! #MarsInAquarius #EmbraceTheWeird
Jupiter in Taurus has you expanding faster than the universe after the Big Bang. Hopefully not literally, though - we're talking about personal growth here, not waist size! Jupiter wants you to learn, Taurus wants you to chill. The result? Learn how to chill. #JupiterInTaurus #LearnToChill
Saturn in Pisces might make you feel like you're stuck between the rock of reality and the hard place of your dreams. Or is that a wormhole? Either way, remember to keep your feet on the ground - or at least remember where you parked your spaceship. #SaturnInPisces #GroundControlToMajorTom
Uranus in Taurus is shaking things up like a mad scientist's experiment gone awry! Expect the unexpected, and remember: sometimes, the mishaps lead to the greatest discoveries. Or at least some entertaining explosions. #UranusInTaurus #ExpectTheUnexpected
Neptune in Pisces? Your dreams might be as deep and mystical as the Mariana trench in the ocean of the cosmos. Dive in, but remember to come up for air - or at least
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