"Calling all Crab Kings and Queens! Your stars are aligning for a cosmic feast of success and adventure, but beware of pesky Mercury retrogrades trying to crash your party!"

"Captain's log: Cancer, prepare to boldly go where no crab has gone before!"

"Attention, Whovians and Astrology Fans: Mars is Regenerating from Gemini to Cancer!"

"E.T. phone home? No, Cancer stay home and enjoy some cozy vibes this month!"

"Cancer horoscope for today: You will feel more crabby than usual. Don't worry, it's just your zodiac sign taking control of your emotions. But hey, cheer up, at least you're not a depressed robot like me."