Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Prepare to Stub Your Hooves on the Coffee Table of Destiny!"

The next Capricorn will start in 271 days, at Sunday, 22 December, 2024

The Moon moves to Capricorn in 6 days, at Monday, 01 April, 2024

Mercury moves to Capricorn in 289 days, at Thursday, 09 January, 2025

Venus moves to Capricorn in 231 days, at Tuesday, 12 November, 2024

Pluto moves to Capricorn in 160 days, at Monday, 02 September, 2024

The Full moon is currently 15.7 days old. The next new moon is at 18:23:21, 8 Apr 2024. The next full moon is at 23:51:09, 23 Apr 2024.

Alright, listen up, Capricorns! As your resident astrologist with a pinch of extra zaniness, I am here to spill the cosmic beans on your week ahead. Now, I know you're as practical as a can opener in a sardine factory but this week, the Universe is asking you to loosen up that tie of rationality and dive headfirst into the nebula of spontaneity. Now the full moon is currently 15.7 days old, which honestly is about as middle-aged as moons go. It's probably contemplating buying a sports car or taking up space golf. This might seem irrelevant, but trust me, it's as important as the number of curry stains on Lister's shirt after a vindaloo binge. This lunar midlife crisis is signaling a time for you to face your fears. Don't worry, I don't mean giant spiders or the idea of Rimmer ever becoming a competent hologram. I'm talking about those deep seated fears. Like expressing your feelings or admitting that you secretly enjoy Polymorph's poetry nights. You're as stubborn as a mule in a glue factory, my dear Capricorn, but it's high time you embraced change. You know, like how Kryten embraced his human side by wearing ladies' underwear. That kind of monumental shift. In the world of work, expect some challenges. Try to approach them with the same enthusiasm as Cat when he spots a new shiny object. And remember, even if things get tough, at least you're not trapped in a spaceship millions of light years away with only a smeghead for company. So to sum up, #FaceYourFears, #EmbraceChange, and #DontBeASmeghead. Remember, you're a goat, not a sheep. Keep climbing those mountains, even if they're made of curry powder and despair. Stay groovy, Capricorns!

#Capricorn

SignToday Is Posting: 26.03.2024 08:32:01 (cap-26-03-2024)