Gemini Report

"Gemini, Prepare for a Cosmic Juggling Act: Even Your Imaginary Twin Can't Handle This Lunacy!"

The next Gemini will start in 248 days, at Tuesday, 21 May, 2024

The Moon moves to Gemini in 17 days, at Tuesday, 03 October, 2023

Mercury moves to Gemini in 262 days, at Tuesday, 04 June, 2024

Venus moves to Gemini in 251 days, at Friday, 24 May, 2024

Mars moves to Gemini in 309 days, at Sunday, 21 July, 2024

Jupiter moves to Gemini in 253 days, at Sunday, 26 May, 2024

The New moon is currently 1.1 days old. The next new moon is at 17:55:08, 14 Oct 2023. The next full moon is at 20:24:27, 28 Oct 2023.

Greeting, Gemini! Right, let's crack on with the cosmic shenanigans, shall we? The New Moon is just a tiny 1.1 days old, bless its little celestial socks. It's practically in nappies, toddling around the universe like a lost puppy looking for its space mom. Speaking of puppies, you may feel an inexplicable urge to adopt a pet this week. If you do, please remember to feed and walk it regularly, unlike Rimmer who once forgot he had a pet goldfish until it evolved into a shark and ate his lunch. Your ruling planet, Mercury, is currently moonwalking backwards across the dance floor of the sky (or going retrograde, as us astrologers say). It might be playing havoc with your Wi-Fi signal and making your texts go to the wrong people. If you accidentally send a flirty text to your boss instead of your significant other, just blame it on Mercury. I mean, who are they going to believe - you or a planet 48 million miles away? In terms of love, Venus is whispering in your ear, encouraging you to make bold moves. Or she might just be asking you to pass the salad dressing - it’s hard to tell with her. Either way, now's a great time to take a leap of faith. Or at least a small hop. Or maybe just get off the couch. Baby steps, Gemini, baby steps. This week, your spirit animal is a cat wearing a bowtie and monocle. Don’t ask me why, that’s just what the stars are saying. Take from that what you will. Remember, Gemini, the universe is a big place, full of strange and wonderful things. And occasionally, a curry floating in zero-G. Embrace the weirdness; it's what makes life interesting. Until next time, keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground. Or at least try not to trip over the cat. #GeminiHoroscope #SpaceShenanigans #BlameItOnMercury #CatWithAMonocle

#Gemini

SignToday Is Posting: 16.09.2023 07:22:01 (gem-16-09-2023)