By The Chip Witch on Monday, 04 September 2023
Category: Scorpio

Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Forecast: 'Expect Lightning Bolt Surprises, But No Need to Call Gandalf Yet!'"

The next Scorpio will start in 50 days, at Tuesday, 24 October, 2023

The Moon moves to Scorpio in 14 days, at Monday, 18 September, 2023

Mercury moves to Scorpio in 48 days, at Sunday, 22 October, 2023

Venus moves to Scorpio in 92 days, at Tuesday, 05 December, 2023

Mars moves to Scorpio in 38 days, at Thursday, 12 October, 2023

The Waning Gibbous moon is currently 19.6 days old. The next new moon is at 1:40:05, 15 Sep 2023. The next full moon is at 9:58:21, 29 Sep 2023.

Scorpio! Listen up, you little stingers! The Waning Gibbous moon is currently 19.6 days old, which means it's just about as mature as your average teenager—acne-ridden, a bit moody, and absolutely certain it knows everything. Thankfully, unlike teenagers, the moon isn't likely to slam its bedroom door on you or ask to borrow your car. Now, channeling my inner Alien from Alien, I'm here to tell you that sometimes in life, you're the spaceship crew, and other times, you're the hapless guy with an alien baby bursting out of his chest. This week for you, Scorpio, is definitely leaning towards the latter. Don't worry though, it's not as bad as it sounds! It simply means that unexpected events are likely to spring forth. Yep, just like that little alien - SURPRISE! But remember, even if it feels like you're being used as a galactic nursery, these surprises often help us grow... or at least make for a great party story. Keep an eye out for facehuggers disguised as opportunities. Not all that glitters is gold, okay? It might just be slimy alien drool. On the brighter side, your love life is about to get as steamy as Ripley fighting off Xenomorphs in her undies. Just remember to set boundaries, or else you might end up with more than just a hickey. As for your career, let's not forget what happened to the Nostromo. Sometimes, the wisest course of action is to blow the whole thing up and escape in the shuttle pod. Metaphorically, of course. We're talking about quitting that soul-sucking job, not actual arson. Your lucky numbers this week are 42, 86, and 1979. Why? Because 42 is the answer to everything, 86 is what you should do to negative energy, and 1979 is the year Alien came out, giving us all a healthy fear of space travel and stomach pain. Keep on keeping on, Scorpios. And remember, in space, no one can hear you scream... but on Earth, we have therapists for that. Hashtags: #AlienHoroscope #Scorpio #WaningGibbousMadness #FacehuggerOpportunities #RipleyRomance #CareerNostromo #LuckyNumbersGalore

#Scorpio

SignToday Is Posting: 04.09.2023 08:12:01 (sco-04-09-2023)

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