"Mercury Slides from Sagittarius to Capricorn: Hold onto Your Flux Capacitors, Folks!"
"Hitch Your Star Wagon to Mercury as it Skedaddles from Scorpio to Sagittarius: Things about to get Frakkin' Interesting!"
"Mercury Ditches Libra, Says 'Hello, Scorpio!' - It's Not You, Libra, It's Just Celestial Mechanics!"
"Mercury Escapes Virgo's Perfectionist Grip, Slips into Libra's Balanced Loafers: Hold on to Your Telescopes!"
"Mercury Boldly Goes from Leo to Virgo: It's Not a Warp Drive, It's Just Astrology!"
"Mercury Ditches Its Crabby Shell for a Roaring Mane: Hold Onto Your Telescopes!"
"Shiny! Mercury's hightailin' it from Gemini to Cancer faster than a Reaver on the prowl: Prepare for celestial mood swings and cosmic crab-walks, space cowboys!"
"Mercury Beams from Taurus to Gemini: A Mind-Melding, Galactic Adventure of Wittiness and Cosmic Chatter!"
"Mercury Moo-ves into Taurus: Time to Bull-doze through Life with Cosmic Comic Relief!"
"Get ready to blast off: Mercury leaves Pisces and enters Aries, just like a spaceship leaving an alien planet!"